Where does the Tooth Fairy get the money she passes out to kids who lose their teeth?

The Tooth Fairy apparently isn't aware of the possessive apostrophe.

My Signature Scent Is...

...one that smells like CANDY! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Dot-scented perfume.

A New Kind of Book Club

Yesterday I came across this on the F/M subway platform:

It was Sasha Cohen's book Fire on Ice: Autobiography of a Champion Figure Skater and it had a sticker on it that said "Take Me Home". I really love the idea of just leaving a book you enjoyed somewhere in public and asking someone else to take it home and read it. I'm not the biggest figure skating fan and am in the middle of 3 other books, and was kind of afraid that there would be bed bugs or dust mites or something gross inside the book, so I left it where it was for a real figure skating fan who doesn't mind bug infestations to pick up.  

Oye Vey!

This is for real.

over the Brooklyn Queens Expressway

Water Water Everywhere

Last weekend, on our way back from a run across the Williamsburg Bridge, Megan and I stumbled across a real oasis in the middle of McCarren Park...a fountain of San Pellegrino...and it was free. What could be better after a long, hot run? And it certainly beats drinking out of the mono-infected and muddy water fountain. We laid down on the mats and let the cool, sparkling mineral water drip down the back of our throats.

We soon found out that this San Pellegrino oasis was not in fact New York City's way to spend the excess budget money, but was part of a larger exhibition of artworks that all revolved around the concept of water called "WET".                                        

                 

We saw this amazing obelisk made out of ice that was slowly disappearing. 

                   

                      

Two giant schwetty balls with a fountain. Clearly symbolic of something.

                     

This was a baby pool filled with rubber gloves. I had a sudden urge to jump in and get felt up.

These mylar balloons tied to blocks of ice were my favorite. As the heat of the day melted the ice, each balloon floated away.

                   

You never know what you're going to come across in this city. You could be running in your neighborhood one day and come across a really cool art exhibition or maybe 1,000 Santas.

                           

Going Green: Part 1

Most of us girls would never dream of rubbing carcinogens or chemical preservatives that disrupt hormone levels all over our skin, that just sounds terrible. And I'm pretty sure most of you would agree that something that causes brain, liver and kidney malfunction if absorbed by the skin and can't be handled without wearing a protective suit is not suitable for our bodies. But, go take a look at your beauty products right now and keep an eye out for things on this list...go ahead, I'll wait here until you get back. 

• Parabens (methyl-,ethyl-,propyl,butyl,isobutyl-)
• Phtalates (thal-eights)
• Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLS) and Sodium Lauryl Ether Sulfate (SLES)
• FC&C/D&C Color
• PEG (PROYLENE GLYCOL, ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL, BUTYLENE GLYCOL)
• Formaldehyde Producing Preservatives
• Talc
• Acrylates, Methlacrylates

Are you completely horrified? I nearly sh*t a brick when I saw what was in my favorite high-end astringent, nail polish and sunscreen.

Luckily, there are loads of "green" options out there that totally work and won't contribute to scary bad things like cancer. I recently became a big fan of tea tree oil. Just like windex was a cure-all in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, tea tree oil has a bazillion benefits and it's really inexpensive. I mostly use it on my zits and it works like a charm....even better than the stupid Mario Badescu drying lotion that I spent $17 on and can only be used while hiding out in your bedroom because it's white and opaque and sits on top of your skin until you wash it off and you might look like a freak if you go in public with it all over your face.

Now don't think that one day I woke up and decided to investigate what I was putting on my body, because frankly as long as it made me look and feel good, I didn't care what the freak was in it. Hilary got this superfantabulous book by Sophie Uliano called Gorgeously Green: 8 Simple Steps to an Earth-Friendly Life as a gift and she, Megan and I have quickly become devout fans. Not only do you learn about better beauty product alternatives, but the book discusses green pet and baby products, how to make your own cleaning supplies that won't make your eyes water and really do work, yummy recipes and includes a million other statistics that will scare the pants off of you and convince you to start changing your lifestyle ASAP.

YOU NEED THIS NOW

You should probably just click on the link above right now and buy a copy for yourself, your BFF, your sister, your mom and your crazy Aunt Kitty. For now, I'm going to continue to use Hilary's copy until she realizes that it's missing. 

Stay tuned until my next post about going Green when I talk about what happens when you put all your food in a jar. 

Oh - and here's a cheat sheet straight out of the Gorgeously Green book that lists all of the yucky product chemicals to be on the lookout for. Hopefully it will tide you over in case you didn't use Amazon's Super Saver Shipping.

That's One Big Lawn Ornament...

...That's what she said.

One of the many reasons I heart NY

Today I took a ride out to Queens on the 7 train, one of the few New York City subway lines that is partially above ground. As we emerged from the dark tunnel I snapped this photo of the school kids sitting across from me.

 

The two girls on the left were playing Miss Mary Mack, while the two boys on the right were staring in awe and amazement at this:

 

Pretty rad, right? I know what you're thinking..."New York City is the most amazing place ever!" Well...you're right. 

While Elvis fans have Graceland and Star Trek fans have trekkie conventions, graffiti artists have 5Pointz. Artists from all over the world descend upon this 200,000 square feet of factory building space to show their artwork. If you come visit me in New York we will definitely make 5Pointz a MUST SEE and then hop over to the Court Square Diner because their pastrami sandwich is really good, extremely delicious, SCRUMTRILLESCENT!

This one time...I came home to a dead fish

I would like to take a moment to remember a most beloved pet, Long John Silver. Because my dad is allergic to cats and my mom dislikes dogs and is also a firm believer that it is common for hamsters to escape from their cages in the middle of the night and then beeline to your bed to bite your toes off, I had many pet goldfish growing up. However, none of them were as beloved as my Long John Silver. He was such a sweet fish, always following my finger and surfacing when he saw me coming with his freeze dried shrimp. He never let on that deep down....in his little fishy heart, something was amiss. Just shy of his second birthday, I came home to find him dead on the carpet, a victim of suicide.

Photo or DIE

My Friend Ashley came up with a game called "Photo or Die". It is probably definitely the best game ever invented with the exception of Mall Madness...there is a sale at the shoe store...anyone? anyone?


Anybody can play Photo or Die as long as you have 1) a digital camera and 2) a group of two or more rowdy, rambunctious, and marginally silly friends. The game is played like this:  One person wields the camera while the group huddles together within the picture frame. The camera wielder will shout out a scenario like "YOU'RE ON A ROLLER COASTER THAT HAS JUST RUN OFF THE TRACKS!"

 

Or "YOU'RE BRUSHING YOUR TEETH AND JUST REALIZED THAT THEY'RE ALL MADE OF CORN!"

 

OR "THE KOOL-AID MAN JUST BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL AND IS HOLDING A MACHETE!"

 

There should be no more than a 3 second delay between the announcing the pose and snapping the picture.

Then, after each round, the camera wielder reviews the image and kicks out the person with the least convincing pose. Eventually, you'll get down to just two people and up with poses like "PROM NIGHT SLOW DANCE TO BOB SEGER'S WE'VE GOT TONIGHT"

Photo or Die can take place anytime, anywhere, but the best results and most fun is had after you've thrown a few back and any sense of modesty or forethought about the likelihood of the pictures ending up on Facebook has disappeared.

5 Years and 3 Shades of Blonde Later...

Well, it's been nearly five years since I made the biggest decision of my life; I switched from crunchy to creamy. It's also been five years since I decided to move 1,192 miles from Kansas City to New York City to start grad school and a new stage of my life...and gee wilikers have a lot of things happened! So many things in fact, it almost seems like it has been an entire lifetime. Here are just a few things that I've learned:

• Walmart is a luxury, there are exactly zero stores in New York that have every single thing you want to buy.
• Breaking up is hard to do, but being single is super fun, especially when you want to spend an entire Saturday watching every movie Heath Ledger ever made and only go outside to buy a pint of Ben and Jerry's.
• Only you can change your own life circumstances.
• You should probably carry an umbrella and spare pair of shoes pretty much everywhere you go.
• Go to every single art event you're invited to. Besides seeing some amazing art, there's always free booze.

• Even when you have a job, live on your own and pay taxes, you will not feel like a grown up. I have the blankie to prove it.
• There is no shame in eating caviar from Ikea...even if you're eating it while you're on the bus going home.
• There's nothing like dressing up for a themed party and then having to get there using public transportation.

 

• NY bagels and pizza are the best in the world.

courtesy of my bff Victoria

courtesy of my bff Victoria

• If you hesitate the opportunity will pass you by.
• It was fun to perform on stage in a band...even if it only lasted one performance.
• If there's an empty seat on a crowded subway...it's empty for a (gross) reason.
• You can run into plushies and public nudity in the same day and it's no big deal.

• New York really is as rad as it looks in The Muppets Take Manhattan, Sex in the City and Law & Order.